Are you the jealous type?

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Are you the jealous type?

#1  Postby Keep It Real » Mar 29, 2016 8:07 pm

Judith Nibbs 'decapitated by jealous partner' in Hoxton
...l
The trial heard that Mr Nibbs shown no signs of mental illness in the wake of the killing.
Ms Nibbs's former workmates described her as a happy, joyful, bubbly and open-minded woman.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35919358

Open minded eh? He shouldn't have killed her but how would you react if your SO slept around? Biology is a bitch.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#2  Postby ScholasticSpastic » Mar 29, 2016 8:22 pm

Keep It Real wrote:He shouldn't have killed her but how would you react if your SO slept around?

I kicked her out, cut her out of my life, and moved on. Nobody died, or even suffered any sort of physical or verbal abuse. Biology be damned, the guy's simply a dick.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#3  Postby Keep It Real » Mar 29, 2016 8:34 pm

ScholasticSpastic wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:He shouldn't have killed her but how would you react if your SO slept around?

I kicked her out, cut her out of my life, and moved on. Nobody died, or even suffered any sort of physical or verbal abuse. Biology be damned, the guy's simply a dick.


Aren't we all, when push comes to shove? Did you have kids with your SO?
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#4  Postby laklak » Mar 29, 2016 8:39 pm

Never had the experience, at least not with anyone I cared much for. One old girlfriend was also banging one of my best mates, but we were fine with it. She didn't know that we knew, so it was pretty amusing watching her try to keep the two of us in the dark.

I figure why would they cheat on me? They already got the best....
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#5  Postby ScholasticSpastic » Mar 29, 2016 8:40 pm

Keep It Real wrote:
ScholasticSpastic wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:He shouldn't have killed her but how would you react if your SO slept around?

I kicked her out, cut her out of my life, and moved on. Nobody died, or even suffered any sort of physical or verbal abuse. Biology be damned, the guy's simply a dick.


Aren't we all, when push comes to shove? Did you have kids with your SO?

One of them. I've been through this twice. Aren't we all what? Dicks? I don't think so. Most of us are grown-up enough to not actually hurt people when we feel like hurting people.

Of course, with my ex-wife, with whom I have a son, it wasn't feasible to cut her out of my life. So we divorced as amicably as possible and have kept things as friendly as we can for the sake of our son. Like adults. Being a grown-up is hard, but I wouldn't say biology is against it. You're simply trying to do the human nature cop-out. But being a grown-up is human nature, too.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#6  Postby laklak » Mar 29, 2016 9:57 pm

I've never been very good at adulting. I know I have to do it, but I really don't want to.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#7  Postby Thommo » Mar 29, 2016 10:02 pm

I had a girlfriend for a year or two who cheated on me. I was pissed off and hurt, we had an argument. I didn't attack her. I didn't want to hit her. I might have told her to fuck off and leave me alone, I forget. Then I walked away and moved on with my life.

I don't think resorting to violence is normal or purely biologically driven.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#8  Postby tuco » Mar 30, 2016 12:35 am

Apparently my un-jealousy is a sign of not loving enough. While biology is indeed a bitch I do not believe in the right to be jealous.

How would I react to what? Depends. What kind of affairs? But lets say sexual affairs. Well, I would probably stress that its important to keep me ignorant.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#9  Postby The_Metatron » Mar 30, 2016 1:51 am

ScholasticSpastic wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:
ScholasticSpastic wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:He shouldn't have killed her but how would you react if your SO slept around?

I kicked her out, cut her out of my life, and moved on. Nobody died, or even suffered any sort of physical or verbal abuse. Biology be damned, the guy's simply a dick.


Aren't we all, when push comes to shove? Did you have kids with your SO?

One of them. I've been through this twice. Aren't we all what? Dicks? I don't think so. Most of us are grown-up enough to not actually hurt people when we feel like hurting people.

Of course, with my ex-wife, with whom I have a son, it wasn't feasible to cut her out of my life. So we divorced as amicably as possible and have kept things as friendly as we can for the sake of our son. Like adults. Being a grown-up is hard, but I wouldn't say biology is against it. You're simply trying to do the human nature cop-out. But being a grown-up is human nature, too.

Two ex-wives? Same here. Who can best us?


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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#10  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Mar 30, 2016 1:53 am

I'd talk to my partner to determine whether I had reason to believe it would ever happen again and, if I did, would leave them.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#11  Postby ScholasticSpastic » Mar 30, 2016 4:08 pm

The_Metatron wrote:
Two ex-wives? Same here. Who can best us?

I was vague, sorry. I have one ex-wife, but two of my ex-SOs cheated on me. I was counting all of my serious relationships, not just the ones which included marriage.

My Dad has four ex-wives. He can best us. ;)
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#12  Postby Sendraks » Mar 30, 2016 4:32 pm

Keep It Real wrote:Open minded eh? He shouldn't have killed her but how would you react if your SO slept around? Biology is a bitch.


I'm puzzled as to what biology has to do with this? There are plenty of people out there in polygamous relationships who manage quite happily without getting sufficiently jealous as to kill anyone.

I think you're underestimating the capacity of humans to be open and honest and love each other, whilst also having relationships with multiple individuals.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#13  Postby The_Metatron » Mar 30, 2016 6:38 pm

ScholasticSpastic wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:
Two ex-wives? Same here. Who can best us?

I was vague, sorry. I have one ex-wife, but two of my ex-SOs cheated on me. I was counting all of my serious relationships, not just the ones which included marriage.

My Dad has four ex-wives. He can best us. ;)

Sad stories, short version:

Wife #1 (active duty, USAF) started banging some dude in Greenland while we were on simultaneous unaccompanied overseas tours (I was in Korea). Met her on mid-tour leave only to learn she was pregnant and wanted a divorce. Wife #2, a Korean, joined me on another unaccompanied tour to Korea. I moved her there at my own expense, since my household goods were going in storage anyway. Started banging some dude she met while tending bar at the base NCO club.

While I consider the other halves of those two events to be totally without honor and less than human (you just don't do that shit to a fellow serviceman), it never occurred to me to harm them. Wouldn't have done any good for me at all.

Turns out both of those dudes married my ex-wives. Later, each of them left their prize wives for other women.

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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#14  Postby ScholasticSpastic » Mar 30, 2016 6:54 pm

I walked in on my ex-wife with another woman. I was willing to let things have a Penthouse Letters resolution, but my then-wife wasn't up for it. She got jealous and accused me of trying to steal her girlfriend. It was very confusing.

My other ex-SO made a habit of cheating on me. I forgave her twice when she sincerely promised not to do it again. The third time I stopped forgiving her, and had the police escort her out of my apartment- which she insisted she had the right to continue living in rent-free. Like the parasite she was.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#15  Postby tuco » Mar 30, 2016 7:01 pm

How did you find out, twice?
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#16  Postby ScholasticSpastic » Mar 30, 2016 7:04 pm

tuco wrote:How did you find out, twice?

One of the times I was informed by someone at the club who saw her ducking into a restroom with another man. I don't recall how I found out the other times. It was years ago and I've done a good job not slogging that baggage around.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#17  Postby igorfrankensteen » Mar 30, 2016 11:49 pm

I'm not the jealous type either. Went through real hell in my early years, fortunately without making the mistake of marrying the alleged woman, and resolved after my recovery, never again to tolerate even a hint if such crap.

Hasn't led to happiness, since my now ex was nuts squared and educated me in entirely new suites of rooms in Hell.

Killing someone...I fantasized about as much as anyone does, when mercilessly betrayed, but never came close to doing it, even at the worst of times, which were exceptionally bad.
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Re: Are you the jealous type?

#18  Postby tuco » Mar 30, 2016 11:51 pm

I see, thanks.

Its not that I am interested who is jealous, who is not. I am interested in: Why are we jealous? and How do we find out?

I have reason to believe that those who are jealous often actively look for evidence.
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