The problem here is your lack of willpower. And so until you address it any goal you have may never be fulfilled
Sort that out and the rest should follow. You procrastinate too much. So this is why very little is being achieved

You don't need willpower to keep your hand out of a fire.

I don't believe in free will so willpower is fleeting. All I can hope for is that my neurophysiology has been influenced in some way such that I desire to be good more than the pain of breaking the old habits. I might well be in that state in weeks and months to come - I'm certainly there at the moment.

You don't need willpower to keep your hand out of a fire. I need envisage that fire and let it burn bright in my mind - that waste of life, killing myself with drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, aimlessly drifting, bored out of my mind.

Forget about free will, its useless concept. If you are decided to change your life by volunteering, there are opportunities out there no doubt. That is all you need to know. You meet people of your liking, have something to do, and if income is of no concern, what else do you need?

Not believing in free will does not mean you surrender everything to chance
For you are still capable of making choices and having control over your life

Keep It Real wrote:You don't need willpower to keep your hand out of a fire. I need envisage that fire and let it burn bright in my mind - that waste of life, killing myself with drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, aimlessly drifting, bored out of my mind.

Now you're talking.

The hard part for you KIR is translating talk into action. On its own it is no good. You are only thirty
five. You should not be bored at your age. You may have another lifetime to live yet before you die

If you read OP, its lot to give up and if you read post #2 its hard to imagine something better. I know what I am talking about because I was in similar situation. There are better things out there but there is no guarantee one gets them and they will last. However, if one will not try, one will never know.

surreptitious57 wrote:The hard part for you KIR is translating talk into action. On its own it is no good. You are only thirty
five. You should not be bored at your age. You may have another lifetime to live yet before you die

Talk = thought....just need to keep my thoughts in a good and optimistic place, as they are now. It's just a shame about the blisters on my inner theighs from all the pacing..quitting pacing is a distant goal. It might be down to my meds even, as could be the boredom. Anhedonia is a recognised side effect of anti-psychotics, but it's infinitely preferable to being in the grip of a schizophrenic psychotic episode.

surreptitious57 wrote:Not believing in free will does not mean you surrender everything to chance
For you are still capable of making choices and having control over your life

So, presumably, your "unfree will" decides, then informs your conscious self, and tells it, "That's my decision, and if you don't like it, that's just too bad!"

CdesignProponentsist wrote:KIR, how is this time different from the last? Quit talking about it and do it. If you can't, seek professional help.

Especially the bolded bit.

Well, this is a mess.

Good luck, KIR!

The good thing is, Keep It Real, that if it does not work out, you can always go back :) That is unless you burn bridges.

33 hours in and feeling positive still - just imagining that fire!

Keep It Real wrote:33 hours in and feeling positive still - just imagining that fire!

There you have it folks, from the horse's mouth. KiR is going to self-immolate. I guess D was right after all.

I know ur joking, but in any case, I was referring to the "fire" (Damnation?) of a wasted life, which I don't want to put my hand in. It'd hurt. A lot. Better be good.

Keep It Real wrote:33 hours in and feeling positive still - just imagining that fire!

This is what you are going to do tomorrow:

Check this site: http://www.gloucestershire.gov.uk/libraries/volunteers
Apply
Read experiences to keep you motivated
Report back here

OK! Will do! You are kind to the forums needy old tuco my pal. I'm setting my alarm for 8am - no good languishing around in bed thinking of cigarettes; I'm over the worst of the cravings by then. Need to read the draft of my mum's book and send her an email too; have a workout and shower, apply for yet more voluntary work; read psychology.....should be enough to keep my mind off the vices. A proper way to start the week - Clean, dry and nicotine free. :halo:

Are you going to do anything nice? You know, something you like that's not bad for you?