felltoearth wrote:
The blisters were not the funny part. My trip home was. On that day my friend needed the car himself because he had a dentist appointment. In my habitual optimism I suggested he'll just drop me off at the Boiling Pot, which is the first surfing point of the parks four, and I'll hitch a ride back in the evening.
The surf was really good that day, but the waves at Tea Tree Bay keep rolling in with such consistency that their predictability makes them a bit less exciting after ten or 20 rides. So I walked to Granite Bay, where they are a bit more tubular and variable. It takes about 20 minutes to walk there. No cars are allowed in the park at all.
Very few people bothered to go that far in those days. It became an unofficial nudist beach. I thought "Why should I be the odd one out?" and dressed only in my birthday suit and the ankle strap that connects me via bungee type cord to my kneeboard I went surfing.
As I said, the surf was particularly good that day and even in winter the water temperature was somewhere above 20°C. Without a wetsuit you can still stay out there until you get exhausted, thirsty or the surf stops being good. My kneeboard was a George Greenough style semi-spoon, so it had bugger-all floatation. My bum, the only part of my body that was not well tanned, should be well under water most of the time. Safe from the sun's UV radiation, I thought.
Late in the afternoon the idea occurred to me that I ought to start making my way back soon, after just one more wave and one more wave and... By the time I arrived back at the car park the sun was getting close to the horizon, but it didn't take long for a couple in a Mini Moke to give me a lift. A couple of kilometres out of town is a T-intersection. It's the Noosa-Eumundi Road, which at that time was a single lane dirt track. My friend's property lay about six kilometres up that road. The friendly couple needed to go straight ahead, but offered to do the detour to get me there. I thanked them and said this won't be necessary. I'm bound to get another lift. We said goodbye. I got out of the Moke. And that's when I noticed the sunburn. Holy fuck, did it ever sting when I got off the vinyl-clad seat. The couple departed and I began walking down the dirt road. Gingerly, for my boardshorts chafed. My bum began to heat up. I never got another lift. In fact, not a single car passed during the next hour. And the sun was setting. Before long I was walking in the moonlight.
Now is a good time to mention that apart from my board, speedoes, flippers and towel I had absolutely nothing with me. Not even sandals or thongs. The sunburn became more troublesome with each step. I thought "No traffic", so it was OK to take my boardshorts and speedoes off. This was a great relief. I continued with my board under one arm, flippers hung off two fingertips and towel, boardshorts and speedoes were draped over the shoulder on the other side.
Then another problem cropped up. Every time a grader takes the corrugations out of the dirt road it exposes very angular pebbles. Kind of like 20 - 50 millimetre grade gravel. During the day they are easy to avoid. By moonlight not so much. The soles of my feet could only take so much of them. Without suitable footwear, there is only one thing I could do: Put on my flippers. Walking with flippers gave me a strange gait, because one has to lift one's knees up really high to prevent the tips of the flippers from doubling up under the soles of one's feet. So now I was waddling almost 'silly walks' style, naked except for wearing flippers on the dirt road in the moonlight with a kneeboard under my arm and a towel, boardshorts and speedoes draped over a shoulder.
Then the moon set. In total darkness I was reduced to walking by touch. Every time my flippers hit a berm left by the grader I knew I was on one edge of the road and changed the angle of my now extremely slow progress accordingly.
Another effect of total darkness was that it became nigh on impossible to prevent the flippers from doubling under one's feet, which made walking even more difficult. I could think of only one solution to this. As a result I became a naked figure with a kneeboard under one arm, towel, speedoes and boardshorts draped over the other shoulder, wearing nothing but flippers, walking along a dirt path on a moonless night - backwards.