NamelessFaceless wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

It's not just women who do this. I have this same problem with my hubby. He wants me to sit on the couch with him and watch HIS shows - shows that I have absolutely no interest in watching, like boring stuff about motorcycles and building cars. I say "sure sweetie, I'll just get my book" and then he pouts because I don't want to "spend time with him." I'll even let him put his feet in my lap, but for some reason if I don't have my eyes on the same thing that his eyes are on I'm not spending time with him? WTF?

Imagination Theory wrote:

NamelessFaceless wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

It's not just women who do this. I have this same problem with my hubby. He wants me to sit on the couch with him and watch HIS shows - shows that I have absolutely no interest in watching, like boring stuff about motorcycles and building cars. I say "sure sweetie, I'll just get my book" and then he pouts because I don't want to "spend time with him." I'll even let him put his feet in my lap, but for some reason if I don't have my eyes on the same thing that his eyes are on I'm not spending time with him? WTF?

That is strange. I understand wanting to share something you really enjoy with your loved one, but when they obviously don't want to or you know they don't like it then I'd think you'd just drop it?

210karman wrote:

Imagination Theory wrote:

NamelessFaceless wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

It's not just women who do this. I have this same problem with my hubby. He wants me to sit on the couch with him and watch HIS shows - shows that I have absolutely no interest in watching, like boring stuff about motorcycles and building cars. I say "sure sweetie, I'll just get my book" and then he pouts because I don't want to "spend time with him." I'll even let him put his feet in my lap, but for some reason if I don't have my eyes on the same thing that his eyes are on I'm not spending time with him? WTF?

That is strange. I understand wanting to share something you really enjoy with your loved one, but when they obviously don't want to or you know they don't like it then I'd think you'd just drop it?

I tried a compromise for joint activity during the soaps but the wife couldn't concentrate (on the soaps) and it was too much hassle to move the coffee table anyway.

Paula wrote:
My mother watches ALL the soaps when she's visiting, they're on for hours, every night. It's torture

She then decides she's got loads to talk about when House is on, probably the only series I watch faithfully

Emmeline wrote:

Paula wrote:
My mother watches ALL the soaps when she's visiting, they're on for hours, every night. It's torture

She then decides she's got loads to talk about when House is on, probably the only series I watch faithfully

Thankfully, nobody around me watches soaps but if they did, I'd have to be able to do what I wanted for the duration.

What's the thing with some people where they need others to join them? I only ever want to watch things with people who are also likely to enjoy that and if there's nobody around who likes the same thing, I watch the prog/film on my own, quite happily. I've been pressurised in the past to join people in watching something that's their taste and not mine. It just made me bored / resentful inside of wasted time.

As for going to see a film in the cinema, if I agree to go with someone who chose the film and I didn't enjoy it, I'd be tactful about my response so they knew I appreciated they'd organised it. Diplomacy goes a long way in all relationships and we could all probably use more of it.

quixotecoyote wrote:While I appreciate the suggestions, like I said in post #11, we made up after an hour or two.

We fight every once in a while, even about stupid things. But we're pretty good about giving space for a bit and then talking.

So I can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And we can kiss and make up.

Paula wrote:I tell you what does piss me off though. He'll say "Want to watch a film tonight?", I say "Yes, what do you fancy?". He suggests I go online and go through some filmy sites to choose. So I'm sitting suggesting this one, that one, the next one. All of them "No, don't fancy that", "no, Don't fancy that". So I Tell him to have a look, "No, you choose" he says. So I suggest another 25 titles, none of which he fancies. He then has a look himself because I'm getting pissed off and chooses some action shite that he knows I hate. We watch it mainly because I can't be arsed anymore, I tell him it was shite. I'm being awkward because I didn't get my way

xtraordinaryevidence wrote:

Paula wrote:I tell you what does piss me off though. He'll say "Want to watch a film tonight?", I say "Yes, what do you fancy?". He suggests I go online and go through some filmy sites to choose. So I'm sitting suggesting this one, that one, the next one. All of them "No, don't fancy that", "no, Don't fancy that". So I Tell him to have a look, "No, you choose" he says. So I suggest another 25 titles, none of which he fancies. He then has a look himself because I'm getting pissed off and chooses some action shite that he knows I hate. We watch it mainly because I can't be arsed anymore, I tell him it was shite. I'm being awkward because I didn't get my way

I can imagine myself being like that, except we wouldn't even get to the stage of me choosing one instead. I'm too "nice" (as in unassertive). But I do need a girl that would tell me if she thought it was shit. More honesty! Less diplomacy!

quixotecoyote wrote:While I appreciate the suggestions, like I said in post #11, we made up after an hour or two.

We fight every once in a while, even about stupid things. But we're pretty good about giving space for a bit and then talking.

So I can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And we can kiss and make up.

OP was about a weird moment in movie watching, but I'll argue that couples need to have reasonable expectations and the ability to talk to each other if the relationship is to be at all healthy.

NamelessFaceless wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

It's not just women who do this. I have this same problem with my hubby. He wants me to sit on the couch with him and watch HIS shows - shows that I have absolutely no interest in watching, like boring stuff about motorcycles and building cars. I say "sure sweetie, I'll just get my book" and then he pouts because I don't want to "spend time with him." I'll even let him put his feet in my lap, but for some reason if I don't have my eyes on the same thing that his eyes are on I'm not spending time with him? WTF?

mattwilson wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

Same in my house mate, it's time spent together when we're together watching her stuff and she's talking about her day for on average 4-5 hours. She refuses point blank to entertain any idea of letting me watch my own thing or even asking me how my day was.

Needless to say things are slipping down the shitter

Animavore wrote:

mattwilson wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

Same in my house mate, it's time spent together when we're together watching her stuff and she's talking about her day for on average 4-5 hours. She refuses point blank to entertain any idea of letting me watch my own thing or even asking me how my day was.

Needless to say things are slipping down the shitter

I would give advice but as my advice for everything is, 'Ditch her' and I'm still single I'm starting to question my reliability as a person to seek advice off of

Paula wrote:

Animavore wrote:

mattwilson wrote:

Animavore wrote:

I've a friend at the mo' isn't allowed play his PS3 any more yet from 7-9pm he has to sit and watch soaps with her. Simple solution - he plays games while she watches soaps. But no, to her that's spending "quality time" together.

Lads need to put the foot down and say 'I'm gonna do my thing, you do yours.' You can't generally expect to be into all the same stuff as someone else and why pretend?

Same in my house mate, it's time spent together when we're together watching her stuff and she's talking about her day for on average 4-5 hours. She refuses point blank to entertain any idea of letting me watch my own thing or even asking me how my day was.

Needless to say things are slipping down the shitter

I would give advice but as my advice for everything is, 'Ditch her' and I'm still single I'm starting to question my reliability as a person to seek advice off of

I think what you need to do Matt, what we all need to do, is communicate more like quixotecoyote and his wife. But no, Ani's not yer man for advice re. wimmin