PCS wrote:

NuclMan wrote:

trubble76 wrote:

NuclMan wrote:"Have a nice day" is how one ends a verbal exchange; not how one begins it.

How about both?

Not saying it can't, just sounds bizarre to me, where I come from at least. It's like starting a conversation off with "take care" or "see you soon".

I don't understand what you are trying to get at, surely if anything, a goodbye would be less harassing than a hello where the conversation is initiated and you may be expected to reciprocate. A "have a nice day" just sounds like they are acknowledging you and trying to be nice without the need for you to do anything! Problem is in the way it is done and the perceived underlying sexual suggestions.

Nicko wrote:

trubble76 wrote:I'm a little confused as to why wishing someone a nice day is considered harassment. Even if the offending pleasantry is motivated by finding the person attractive.

I can't help but feel I have misunderstood something, can someone clarify?

As I've pointed out, from the perspective of the well-wisher, there's nothing wrong. From the perspective of the woman attracting this greater-than-might-be-reasonably-expected-due-to the-well-known-friendliness-of-New-Yorkers attention, it could understandably be perceived as a deluge of attention that feels like harassment.

If one, you know, lost sight of the fact that the attention one found so objectionable was composed of minor instances of unwanted attention from multiple persons rather than the sustained unwanted attention of an actual harasser.

Nicko wrote:

Another thing that comes to mind though is that the woman in the video likely experiences many instances of preferential treatment due to her appearance. From a certain point of view*, the receipt of unwanted attention is an inevitable side-effect of attracting wanted - or at least advantageous - attention.




* Clearly not the point of view of this particular woman. In case I haven't stated it clearly enough, her reaction to her subjective experience is entirely understandable.

The_Piper wrote:

Nicko wrote:

Another thing that comes to mind though is that the woman in the video likely experiences many instances of preferential treatment due to her appearance. From a certain point of view*, the receipt of unwanted attention is an inevitable side-effect of attracting wanted - or at least advantageous - attention.




* Clearly not the point of view of this particular woman. In case I haven't stated it clearly enough, her reaction to her subjective experience is entirely understandable.

I agree that one may have certain advantages at times. But I imagine being pretty could be tiring sometimes. One most likely has to put up with comments and advances from people they know as well, people they work with, supervisors even. Stopping for a sandwich. Just everywhere. Supervisor/staff sargaeant befriending her only to repeatedly try to grope her and get her in bed even though she's married and her husband works under him. I hope that's not too specific.
Similar situations and comments from regular co-workers, friends, friends of their boyfriend, customers/patients, etc.
I'm feeling their pain on this one.

Rachel Bronwyn wrote:This isn't a response to you, BlackBart! Quote-fail I'm in the process of remedying. I'm sorry if I appear to be snapping at you!

LucidFlight wrote:"Woman harasses man in NYC, stalking him for 10 hours."

Nicko wrote:

The_Piper wrote:

Nicko wrote:

Another thing that comes to mind though is that the woman in the video likely experiences many instances of preferential treatment due to her appearance. From a certain point of view*, the receipt of unwanted attention is an inevitable side-effect of attracting wanted - or at least advantageous - attention.




* Clearly not the point of view of this particular woman. In case I haven't stated it clearly enough, her reaction to her subjective experience is entirely understandable.

I agree that one may have certain advantages at times. But I imagine being pretty could be tiring sometimes. One most likely has to put up with comments and advances from people they know as well, people they work with, supervisors even. Stopping for a sandwich. Just everywhere. Supervisor/staff sargaeant befriending her only to repeatedly try to grope her and get her in bed even though she's married and her husband works under him. I hope that's not too specific.
Similar situations and comments from regular co-workers, friends, friends of their boyfriend, customers/patients, etc.
I'm feeling their pain on this one.

Oh yeah, definitely. Hence the qualifier I put in the footnote.

Whilst advantages may be gained by being an attractive woman in other contexts, in this context it seems to be at best an annoyance.

NuclMan wrote:

LucidFlight wrote:"Woman harasses man in NYC, stalking him for 10 hours."

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/ebf5e34fc8/10-hours-of-walking-in-nyc-as-a-man

The_Piper wrote:

Nicko wrote:

trubble76 wrote:I'm a little confused as to why wishing someone a nice day is considered harassment. Even if the offending pleasantry is motivated by finding the person attractive.

I can't help but feel I have misunderstood something, can someone clarify?

As I've pointed out, from the perspective of the well-wisher, there's nothing wrong. From the perspective of the woman attracting this greater-than-might-be-reasonably-expected-due-to the-well-known-friendliness-of-New-Yorkers attention, it could understandably be perceived as a deluge of attention that feels like harassment.

If one, you know, lost sight of the fact that the attention one found so objectionable was composed of minor instances of unwanted attention from multiple persons rather than the sustained unwanted attention of an actual harasser.

A couple of those were more than minor disturbances. Even the purple guy I laughed at, was intimating that she could be a prostitute for him, I think. ("I just saw a thousand dollars")I enjoy walking around cities, but I probably wouldn't do it anymore if that was what I faced!
Though I probably got a dozen solicitations of some kind from con men each day roaming NYC. Much fewer in other cities, come to think of it.
Jokes\ New York's awesome. I didn't even get ogled at the gay parade though. WTF. I did in Dayton Ohio though, at about 7 am some guy in tight leather pants blew me a kiss. Maybe he was still up from the previous night. \Jokes

NamelessFaceless wrote:

The_Piper wrote:

Nicko wrote:

trubble76 wrote:I'm a little confused as to why wishing someone a nice day is considered harassment. Even if the offending pleasantry is motivated by finding the person attractive.

I can't help but feel I have misunderstood something, can someone clarify?

As I've pointed out, from the perspective of the well-wisher, there's nothing wrong. From the perspective of the woman attracting this greater-than-might-be-reasonably-expected-due-to the-well-known-friendliness-of-New-Yorkers attention, it could understandably be perceived as a deluge of attention that feels like harassment.

If one, you know, lost sight of the fact that the attention one found so objectionable was composed of minor instances of unwanted attention from multiple persons rather than the sustained unwanted attention of an actual harasser.

A couple of those were more than minor disturbances. Even the purple guy I laughed at, was intimating that she could be a prostitute for him, I think. ("I just saw a thousand dollars")I enjoy walking around cities, but I probably wouldn't do it anymore if that was what I faced!
Though I probably got a dozen solicitations of some kind from con men each day roaming NYC. Much fewer in other cities, come to think of it.
Jokes\ New York's awesome. I didn't even get ogled at the gay parade though. WTF. I did in Dayton Ohio though, at about 7 am some guy in tight leather pants blew me a kiss. Maybe he was still up from the previous night. \Jokes

Well let me offer you a tip if you ever walk the streets in New Orleans. If someone offers to tell you where you got your shoes, don't accept!

Thommo wrote:I don't really know what to make of this, I counted 23 separate people making comments in the video (out of how many tens of thousands of people she would walk past in 10 hours, I can't say). Clearly some of them were well out of line, the two guys who basically followed her down the street are certainly harassing and possibly to a criminal level and I think it's an eye opener to witness that people actually behave like that. On the other hand it's hard to see how some guy sitting outside a news stand saying "have a nice day!" qualifies as harassment - and that's apparently among the top 20 or so incidents of harassment, since this charity selected it and chose to edit it in.

NuclMan wrote:It's not that I think HAND is harassment per se, but i think it was included in the video to illustrate what Nicko explained upthread, I.e. "Not another one". Also, it's likely the video team knew these guys only say it to "hotties", so it's not exactly innocent.

Boyle wrote:

Thommo wrote:I don't really know what to make of this, I counted 23 separate people making comments in the video (out of how many tens of thousands of people she would walk past in 10 hours, I can't say). Clearly some of them were well out of line, the two guys who basically followed her down the street are certainly harassing and possibly to a criminal level and I think it's an eye opener to witness that people actually behave like that. On the other hand it's hard to see how some guy sitting outside a news stand saying "have a nice day!" qualifies as harassment - and that's apparently among the top 20 or so incidents of harassment, since this charity selected it and chose to edit it in.

You need to hang out with young men on the streets more, Thommo. Technically, no, "Have a nice day" isn't harassment, especially since it's not sustained (unlike those guys that fucking followed her around). What's really unnerving is the staring. It's bizarre to be with a group of guys and have them swing their heads around like a goddamn lighthouse looking for a woman to ogle. Then they ask "How are you?" and when she doesn't answer they say "Oh well, fuck you too then!" sometimes with or without a "Bitch". Typically they don't try to talk to guys, except when trying to sell something.

I know this because this is precisely how some of my work-friends act. It's amazing. They legitimately see this as an appropriate thing to do. It gets even worse on clubbing nights. Incidentally, it was those sorts of actions that made me restrict my contact with them to work, bars and barbecues, not clubs.

This doesn't mean that those guys saying "Hello" or variations thereof are instances of harassment (I don't think they are), but it's not just being friendly to be friendly. There's an ulterior motive there, and it's made explicit one the guys with less impulse control start following her. As others have said, it can certainly feel like harassment, even if there are multiple unique people saying something only once.

Boyle wrote:

Thommo wrote:I don't really know what to make of this, I counted 23 separate people making comments in the video (out of how many tens of thousands of people she would walk past in 10 hours, I can't say). Clearly some of them were well out of line, the two guys who basically followed her down the street are certainly harassing and possibly to a criminal level and I think it's an eye opener to witness that people actually behave like that. On the other hand it's hard to see how some guy sitting outside a news stand saying "have a nice day!" qualifies as harassment - and that's apparently among the top 20 or so incidents of harassment, since this charity selected it and chose to edit it in.

You need to hang out with young men on the streets more, Thommo. Technically, no, "Have a nice day" isn't harassment, especially since it's not sustained (unlike those guys that fucking followed her around). What's really unnerving is the staring. It's bizarre to be with a group of guys and have them swing their heads around like a goddamn lighthouse looking for a woman to ogle. Then they ask "How are you?" and when she doesn't answer they say "Oh well, fuck you too then!" sometimes with or without a "Bitch". Typically they don't try to talk to guys, except when trying to sell something.

I know this because this is precisely how some of my work-friends act. It's amazing. They legitimately see this as an appropriate thing to do. It gets even worse on clubbing nights. Incidentally, it was those sorts of actions that made me restrict my contact with them to work, bars and barbecues, not clubs.

This doesn't mean that those guys saying "Hello" or variations thereof are instances of harassment (I don't think they are), but it's not just being friendly to be friendly. There's an ulterior motive there, and it's made explicit one the guys with less impulse control start following her. As others have said, it can certainly feel like harassment, even if there are multiple unique people saying something only once.

Thommo wrote:

NuclMan wrote:It's not that I think HAND is harassment per se, but i think it was included in the video to illustrate what Nicko explained upthread, I.e. "Not another one". Also, it's likely the video team knew these guys only say it to "hotties", so it's not exactly innocent.

How exactly do you deduce that it's likely the video team knew that they only said it to "hotties"? She walked around New York for 10hours, I seriously doubt they went back, found each individual and studied them.

A single, polite statement is never harassment, I don't agree that it's not exactly innocent. I expressly find it to be not guilty of anything. My point earlier is that it trivialises the overall point about not just unwanted but genuinely inappropriate interactions and harassment.

NuclMan wrote:

Thommo wrote:

NuclMan wrote:It's not that I think HAND is harassment per se, but i think it was included in the video to illustrate what Nicko explained upthread, I.e. "Not another one". Also, it's likely the video team knew these guys only say it to "hotties", so it's not exactly innocent.

How exactly do you deduce that it's likely the video team knew that they only said it to "hotties"? She walked around New York for 10hours, I seriously doubt they went back, found each individual and studied them.

A single, polite statement is never harassment, I don't agree that it's not exactly innocent. I expressly find it to be not guilty of anything. My point earlier is that it trivialises the overall point about not just unwanted but genuinely inappropriate interactions and harassment.

I don't think it's a stretch to assume that they did some trial runs off camera, to ensure the route chosen for the final take would net the most results. Do you really think they simply jumped off a bus in midtown Manhattan and started filming?

Thommo wrote:

NuclMan wrote:

Thommo wrote:

NuclMan wrote:It's not that I think HAND is harassment per se, but i think it was included in the video to illustrate what Nicko explained upthread, I.e. "Not another one". Also, it's likely the video team knew these guys only say it to "hotties", so it's not exactly innocent.

How exactly do you deduce that it's likely the video team knew that they only said it to "hotties"? She walked around New York for 10hours, I seriously doubt they went back, found each individual and studied them.

A single, polite statement is never harassment, I don't agree that it's not exactly innocent. I expressly find it to be not guilty of anything. My point earlier is that it trivialises the overall point about not just unwanted but genuinely inappropriate interactions and harassment.

I don't think it's a stretch to assume that they did some trial runs off camera, to ensure the route chosen for the final take would net the most results. Do you really think they simply jumped off a bus in midtown Manhattan and started filming?

I think it's substantially more likely than what you're proposing, since you ask. The idea that they got reactions from people in different parts of the city and then went back to film them, or that they interrupted the 10 hour walkaround in this way seems to be entirely an invention on your part, I'm sorry to say I see no evidence for it at all.

But you didn't answer my question, how do you make these deductions?