What's the battiest thing you ever heard a believer say?

chairman bill · **#181** by **chairman bill** » Jun 04, 2010 11:28 am

hackenslash wrote:
Eliakim wrote:Can I point out to hackenslash that having your country as Pangaea is the Fallacy of Composition?

That's actually quite witty & not daft at all.

blasphemer_number1 · **#182** by **blasphemer_number1** » Jun 06, 2010 1:12 pm

Gawdzilla wrote:"Thank God more people weren't killed." Just fucking amazing.

Wow.

This is an awesome example of willful ignorance. This thread has quite a few.

The idea occurred to me that maybe we should catalog and index these. A friend told the following joke:

A guy gets sent to prison and on his first night in the cell-block, something strange happens.
An inmate shouts, "23!" and the entire block breaks out laughing.
Another inmate shouts, "14!" and is met with gales of laughter.
Someone else yells out, "30!" and again, the entire cell-block starts howling.
The new guy asks the man in the next cell, "What the hell is going on? Why do people laugh whenever someone calls out a number?"
"You see, new guy," the con responds, "we've been here so long and told these jokes so many times, we've just assigned a number to all the jokes. Why don't you try it?"
Intrigued, the new guy shouts, "44!" and is met with deafening silence.
"What the hell happened?" he asked, "Is there no joke assigned to number 44?"
The man in the next cell replies, "Oh, there's a joke assigned to number 44, all right. A damn funny one, too. You just told it wrong."

Onyx8 · **#183** by **Onyx8** » Jun 08, 2010 2:51 am

blasphemer_number1 wrote:
Gawdzilla wrote:"Thank God more people weren't killed." Just fucking amazing.

Wow. This is an awesome example of willful ignorance. This thread has quite a few.

The idea occurred to me that maybe we should catalog and index these. A friend told the following joke:
A guy gets sent to prison and on his first night in the cell-block, something strange happens.
An inmate shouts, "23!" and the entire block breaks out laughing.
Another inmate shouts, "14!" and is met with gales of laughter.
Someone else yells out, "30!" and again, the entire cell-block starts howling.
The new guy asks the man in the next cell, "What the hell is going on? Why do people laugh whenever someone calls out a number?"
"You see, new guy," the con responds, "we've been here so long and told these jokes so many times, we've just assigned a number to all the jokes. Why don't you try it?"
Intrigued, the new guy shouts, "44!" and is met with deafening silence.
"What the hell happened?" he asked, "Is there no joke assigned to number 44?"
The man in the next cell replies, "Oh, there's a joke assigned to number 44, all right. A damn funny one, too. You just told it wrong."

So then the guy shouts out "104" and the place erupts with laughter that goes on and on and on, when it finally calms down he asks "why did everyone laugh so hard at that one?" "well", is the answer, "we haven't heard that one before."

blasphemer_number1 · **#184** by **blasphemer_number1** » Jun 09, 2010 2:13 am

@Onyx8: LOL -- good sense of humor.

BTW, tonight on the way home "the Marketplace of Ideas with Janet Parshall" spewed its usual bunch of babble; they had Dr.Ron Rhodes answer a segment on how to handle Jehovah's witnesses that come to the door. He explained their beliefs and how they differ from that of evangelical xians (which can be every bit as batty, IMHO); he then covered the verses between the old and new testament that respectively say: "Jehovah is the only true god" in the old testament and similar verses from the new testament that say "Jesus is the only true god"; he did this to use scripture to suggest Jesus' godhood in a way that would have the Jehovah's Witnesses refuting scripture to say that he was a mortal. So the really batty part for me is that, in order to resolve these obviously ridiculous clashes, the trinity was invented and how that is somehow viewed as evidence of Jesus's divinity rather than the fallibility of the scripture. :crazy:

Viraldi · **#185** by **Viraldi** » Jun 09, 2010 11:10 am

"Faith is the reasoning of a religious mind."

— On YouTube comments (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7smdrghMXEM)

Foxy · **#186** by **Foxy** » Jun 09, 2010 11:01 pm

My dad: "If evolution is true, how come there aren't any elephants with half-trunks or beavers with half-tails?"

My mother: "For some reasons back 6,000 years ago people didn't get inbred when relatives married each other. We know this because Adam and Eve's children much have had kids together."

My college-age Sunday school teacher: "Evolutionists think that one day there was just this big blob floating around in the water. Then, later, the blob became a bigger and more complex blob."

Gawdzilla · **#187** by **Gawdzilla** » Jun 09, 2010 11:51 pm

"I guess God wants you to be an atheist as an example to the rest of us." Followed by a pause and then, "But I'm sure he'll let you into Heaven anyway."

Oldskeptic · **#188** by **Oldskeptic** » Jun 10, 2010 1:45 am

Recently this has to be at the top of anyone’s list for bat shit crazy Christian utterances.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5TE99sAbwM[/youtube]

Edit to add that during the Haitian revolt there was not a Napoleon in power. Just goes to show that facts don't matter when you have God on your side.

Foxy · **#189** by **Foxy** » Jun 12, 2010 12:33 am

I really can't stand that woman next to Robertson in the video above. I don't even see why he has her on the show -- all she ever does is look at him and nod stupidly in agreement with whatever he says.

redwhine · **#190** by **redwhine** » Jun 12, 2010 7:19 am

Foxy wrote:I really can't stand that woman next to Robertson in the video above. I don't even see why he has her on the show -- all she ever does is look at him and nod stupidly in agreement with whatever he says.

I think you answered your own question there!

Madmaili · **#191** by **Madmaili** » Jun 12, 2010 7:30 am

I have a file in my head where all the stupid shit theists have said to me over the years is stored, I drink a lot of alcohol to forget its contents.

aliihsanasl · **#192** by **aliihsanasl** » Jun 12, 2010 11:06 am

One of my friend said if we believe and pray for god he'll punish us with earthquakes, floods and natural disasters like that. When I said its just a natural event do you think if we pray 24/7 these events will stop she said of course they wont stop but they wont hurt people :ill:

When I said it isnt creator's ( if there is any :drunk:

) fault of people dying in natural disasters but humans who dont protect themselves from these event. Discussion went on and on. Its impossible to hear rational things from believes imo they're all time drunk with their god and prophets. Cheers believers :cheers:

Gawdzilla · **#193** by **Gawdzilla** » Jun 12, 2010 11:09 am

Regarding a missing boy: "God will keep him safe, or take him to Heaven."

MattHunX · **#194** by **MattHunX** » Jun 12, 2010 12:03 pm

Gawdzilla wrote:Regarding a missing boy: "God will keep him safe, or take him to Heaven."

Or keep him safe BY taking him to heaven. With all the clergymen of times past just waiting there. *shudder*

pcCoder · **#195** by **pcCoder** » Jun 12, 2010 1:51 pm

Not something I heard but read recently in a Watchtower or maybe it was Awake (since a bit of my family is JW and sometimes give me them). I don't remember what it said exactly, but it was related to cosmology and basically it boiled down the the notion that we should not accept it because there is still so much that we don't know. It then went on to quote how there was a lot of disagreement among scientists even quoting something from a 1990 issue of New Scientist (I think). I haven't been able to trace down that issue, but the nature of the quote leaves me thinking it is misrepresented as they often seem to do. I've also read some of the same types of claims about evolution.

I find this fascinating and completely delusional thinking though, to think that because there is a lot we don't know, that somehow what we do know and have sufficient evidence for should not be accepted. What it really boils down to of course is what we do know and have evidence for but doesn't jive with their religious beliefs they don't want to accept, often to the point of trying to quote others in a way to make it appear that there is great conflict (and they are getting sneakier about that as well). It is ludicrous to think that because there is much we still don't know that we should replace what is known and backed with sufficient evidence with their religious claims which have no evidence at all backing them. But that is basically what they want.

Another thing I read that I find quite batty, and convinces me more and more that there is no evidence of their claims, are some lists from religious organizations on how we can know that the bible is true. I don't remember them all, but they tend to break down to witnesses, advanced scientific knowledge, prophecy.

One claim is that there were more than 500 witnesses to the events and miracles of Jesus. Out of them we only have the writings of his disciples years after his death, and even the legitimacy of them being individual testimonies seems to be in question. In addition, how can the testimony of a supposed witness be trusted when there isn't any corroborating evidence and there is so much bias that people go far to lie, misquote others, etc, just to try to propagate their claims?

‘For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it to you upon the altar to make atonement for your souls; for it is the blood that makes atonement for the soul.’

My oh my. How could anyone way back then know that blood was important to life. It's not like they could have observed people dying if they bleed to much. Praise be, evidence at last. :roll:

The lists go on, but I've already rambled enough for now. They are batty as shit though, and if it is what religious people accept as evidence I hope I'm never on trial with to many such jurors.

Mycernius · **#196** by **Mycernius** » Jun 12, 2010 2:28 pm

Some one has shown me this group over on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2 ... nfo&ref=ts
Good for the lols

katja z · **#197** by **katja z** » Jun 12, 2010 3:41 pm

Mycernius wrote:Some one has shown me this group over on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2 ... nfo&ref=ts
Good for the lols

Haha, it's beginning to attract true atheist bashers. This appears to be the current level of the debate:

Atheists are fags,hippies,liberal,socialists,terrorists and hell bound.

Or even more succinctly:

Fak atheism!

Not to mention this:

ALL ATHIESTS ARE DAMNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which received a nice reply:

Damned to what? Sundays off? Never having to feel guilty for not giving enough of their hard earned money to some church so a minister can wear $400.00 shoes?

Ubjon · **#198** by **Ubjon** » Jun 12, 2010 3:48 pm

"Maybe people did live for 400 years back then"

From a mormon going on about her mormon timeline

natselrox · **#199** by **natselrox** » Jun 12, 2010 3:51 pm

Mycernius wrote:Some one has shown me this group over on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2 ... nfo&ref=ts
Good for the lols

The description of the group is a good one!

they think they know it all but really they are just lost and deluded. Atheism, though has major flaws. At first glance, it seems atheism has a strong, irrefutable, non-debatable position. Like so many things in this world, it looks good only on the outside, but actually is weak on the inside - a foundation built on sand.

All atheists believe in evolution, which means they don't believe in morality and think we should all act like animals.
Atheists try to shift the burden of proof unfairly upon theists (ie, atheists make the wild and unprovable claim that God does not exist, and then unfairly expect us who believe in god to prove that He DOES exist)
Some famous atheists have shown they occasionally have doubts about their disbelief, which proves that all atheists really do believe in God.
Everybody who has ever been in the army will tell you that there are no atheists in foxholes. That is, once they are in danger of death, the atheist will strip himself of his irrational disbelief in God, and come to admit he believed in God all along. Only liberal slimebags like MSNBC report otherwise.
Communism, which is inherently evil, is founded by atheism, and all atheists are probably secret communists.
Because we can think of the existence of God, God must obviously exists, and therefore atheists are illogical.
Everything in the universe shows obvious and undeniable signs that it was created by a mind far superior to our own.
a lot of mass murderers were atheists, and all atheists, having no morality to guide them, are only a bad day away from going on a genocide spree. There have no exactly zero cases on Christian mass murderers throughout all of history.

I quote: "The Barna Group found regarding atheism and morality that those who hold to the worldviews of atheism or agnosticism in America were more likely, than theists in America, to look upon the following behaviors as morally acceptable: illegal drug use; excessive drinking; sexual relationships outside of marriage; abortion; cohabitating with someone of opposite sex outside of marriage; obscene language; gambling; pornography and obscene sexual behavior; and engaging in homosexuality/bisexuality" Despicable.

I quote: "
Atheism The belief that there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing and then nothing magically exploded for no reason creating everything and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason what so ever into self-replicating bits which then turned into dinosaurs."

atheism cannot explain the origins of the universe, therefore God exists.
Friedrich Nietzsche went crazy and was an atheist, therefore atheism drove him insane (although there is an ongoing debate on the matter...)

Countries with large numbers of atheists have higher suicide rates, therefore atheism makes you want to kill yourself. Of course they would take the easy way out, not realizing like normal people that God sends suicide cases to hell. Also, developed nations also tend to have higher rates of both atheism and suicide, so we must conclude that technology and wealth are evil.
atheism is evil.

many famous atheists tell lies, therefore atheists are deceptive.

atheists question why evil exists since God is good, but don't ask why good exists if God isn't real.

Sphynxcat · **#200** by **Sphynxcat** » Jun 12, 2010 4:42 pm

^^That quote is just completely mental.

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